Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Time_Mage_Prime 4 year.agoA guy walks into a bar and orders a rum and coke, but the bartender hands him an apple."What the hell is this? I ordered a rum and coke," the guy protests. "Just take a bite of the apple," says the bartender. So, the guy bites the apple, and his eyes light up. "Hey this apple tastes just like rum! What did you soak it in it?" The bartender tells him, "Turn it around." So the guy does, takes another bite, and is suddenly quite pleased. "It tastes like a coke! It's a rum and coke apple? It's a rum and coke apple! That's pretty neat, pal." Another man approaches the bar, and asks the bartender for a gin and tonic. The bartender hands him an apple. Confused, the man begins to question the validity of the bartender, when the first guy reassures him, "Buddy, try the apple," and with a nod to his own, takes another bite. The second man follows suit, and looks back at the bartender in exclamation, "Tonic! What's this, a tonic apple?" The bartender swirls his finger in the air and tells the man, "Turn it around..." The man has a bite from the other side of the apple and is exuberant. "It's gin! It's really gin! A gin and tonic apple!" The two men reveled in this discovery for a while, when a dwarf walked up to the bar, made his way onto a stool beside the men, and beckoned for the bartender. As he's about to order, the second man interrupts him, "Oh, hey man wait! You should order an apple! You can get an apple that tastes like anything you want here! I've got a gin and tonic apple, and this guy's got a rum and coke apple!" The dwarf casts an incredulous look at the bartender, who plainly nods back in confirmation. "Oh yeah?" He starts, "OK then, it's been a while, gimme a *pussy* flavored apple!" And the bartender hands him an apple. The dwarf takes a big, expectant bite from the apple, and immediately spits it out all over the bar. "Ughyuuk!!" He cries out, "This apple tastes like *shit*!" The bartender swirls his finger in the air and tells him, "Turn it around..." Edit: Wow thanks for all the awards! Never had a post blow up like this. Tbh I've never seen this one online before, maybe I'm living under a rock. But it's slain in the meatworld and seems new to lots of you, so hell yeah and thanks again!
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If you were forced to have it when you were young, chances are that you probably won’t like it when your older.
the death of a gorilla causing nationwide backlash
But you've probably heard it, like, 6 million times already
The blind kid didn’t know what hit him
...about an hour after giving birth, a doctor enters her room and says "you've given birth to a baby boy, but I'm afraid I have some good news and i have some bad news" Fearing the worst has happened, the woman frantically replies "oh god, just give me the bad news first doctor, straight up!" The doctor says "well...its your babies hair...it's ginger!" The woman breathes a sigh of relief and says "is that all?...so what's the good news?" And the doctor says "he's dead!"
You Can't Milk a Cow For over 150 Years
Poor fellow died in new
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I had to eat both of them as a child.
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Some random guy came up to me today and said that I’m the last signature needed to sign off woman’s rights. On another note I practiced my signature today.
D works best, but whatever you do, don't use A Minor.
He was the ball
That just goes to show...it takes balls to rape somebody
Being elected President of the United States.
Unfortunately Pocohantas AR was already taken
Not wanting to disturb him, I crept over and put a Starbucks coffee cup on top of his box. He immediately woke up and said, "Thank you." "No problem." I smiled. He looked at me again and said, "It's empty." I said, "I know, it's meant to be a chimney."
Just like the father, it just randomly disappeared.
...and he told Miss Polly her dolly has terminal cancer
When you pull them out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Gluc gluc gluc gluc
if the rubber breaks, your pretty much screwed
You would too if your name was “EEEEUUUURGHHHHHH”
Jackson jacks off
Michael Jackson
I told him there was no need for senseless violence.
Apparently more than 3, it's still pretty dark down there
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